Sandra Bullock, Megan Fox, Michael Douglas, Stephanie Seymour, & Mena Suvari

That was the fastest divorce ever.

Sandra Bullock and loutish ex-hubby Jesse James officially ended their marriage last week, People confirms.

Think the cheating and the Nazi memorabilia had anything to do with it? We think you’re right.

The Oscar-winning actress, 45, filed for divorce in April. The papers cited “discord or conflict of personalities” as the reason for the split.

The papers should have cited: Husband slept with tattooed biker babe; subsequent scandal ruined wife’s hard-earned Oscar win.

Sandra, you should give courses on how to get divorced so quickly.

Megan Fox Gets Married … at the Peach Pit?

OK, so she didn’t get married at the Peach Pit … but controversial superhottie Megan Fox did tie the knot with former “90210” star Brian Austin Green last weekend.

“Yes they are married,” a rep for Fox told People.

Fox, 24, and Green, 36, did the deed at the Four Seasons Resort on the Big Island of Hawaii, TMZ reported — and only a half-dozen people attended.

Does Megan only have six friends left after offending the entire “Transformers” cast and crew? We wonder …

Divorce, ‘80s Style

Greed is good, Michael Douglas says in his iconic movie, “Wall Street.” Apparently, his ex-wife agrees.

Douglas is being sued by his ex-wife, Diandra Douglas, who claims that she’s entitled to 50 percent of his earnings from the upcoming “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” as part of her divorce settlement from the actor, according to the New York Post.

Michael and Diandra divorced in 2000, and he is currently married to actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, with whom he has two children, Dylan, 9, and Carys, 7.

Lady, you’ve been divorced 10 years … we’re not sure how you’re entitled to make money on the new “Wall Street.”

Divorce, ‘90s-Style

Remember that great video for Guns N’ Roses’ “November Rain” (back when people still cared about videos?)

We do too — and we’re still jealous of how awesome Victoria’s Secret model Stephanie Seymour (Axl Rose’s then-girlfriend) looked in that short wedding dress.

Fast forward almost 20 years, and Seymour is going through a messy divorce from entrepreneur Peter Brant, reportedly involving drugs, alcohol and missed court dates, the New York Post reports.

We’re not surprised — this woman nearly married AXL ROSE!

“American Beauty” Off the Market

We can’t even think about Mena Suvari without picturing rose petals and Kevin Spacey, but that’s beside the point.

Mena Suvari, 31, wed 25-year-old music producer Simone Sestito in Vatican City, Italy, last Saturday, according to People.

This is the second marriage for Suvari, who tied the knot with cinematographer Robert Brinkmann in March 2000, at the age of 21. The couple split 2005 citing irreconcilable differences.

That’s what happens when you marry a guy 17 years older than you are when you’re only 21! Here’s hoping doing it the other way around works better.

PS

We were remiss last week in failing to mention the engagement of teen heartthrob Orlando Bloom to Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr. Let’s hope she doesn’t take a page out of Stephanie Seymour’s book. …

Does anyone care that P. Diddy’s former umbrella-holder got engaged? We didn’t think so. …

Sorry guys — gorgeous “Avatar” actress Zoë Saldana is engaged, reports the new issue of Us Weekly. The actress, 32, “is thrilled” to tie the knot with boyfriend of 10 years, Keith Britton, a source says. …